Uglier Than The Truth
by dec0de
Summary: "I pulled myself together and took one last glance at what I used to call love. I walked to Vincent, finding false strength I stretched my arm, and stroked his cheek while looking straight into his eyes. "I don't feel a thing," as the words left my lips, they scared even me. I walked out of his house, and closed the door tightly." Yuffentine. OOC.
1. The Rain Welcomed Me Home

**The Rain Welcomed Me Home**

His fist slammed into the wall like he knew it wasn't there,  
"Calm down, calm down..." I kept repeating to myself,  
thinking maybe he'd understand.  
Wishing he'd just face me, and tell me that it's alright.  
Or even yell at me, to show that he heard  
what I had to say.

"Forget it, forget everything!"  
he whispered harshly into the room.  
And I was the only one who could hear him.  
I could see him slowly,  
breaking down.  
Pulling everything inside himself once again,  
and building up the wall,  
brick by brick.  
Everything was too much for me to watch,  
I didn't want to cause him pain like this.  
Every tear that rolled off my cheek,  
was another second gone by.  
It was a way that I kept track of time.  
Knowing that, all this could be over soon.

I knew he was waiting for me to fight him.  
To say something, that would send him over the edge,  
so then… maybe, it wouldn't hurt as much when he leaves.  
Waiting for it,  
as if he knew it would come.  
And maybe, he was right because after all, he's the one who knew me the best.  
Everything that happened that night, I had encountered it in my dreams,  
so many times.  
Only, that was the last night I was going to stomach this pain.  
I am my own demon. I ruined a lot for myself,  
and he was the only one I had left.  
I sacrificed so much for one man, and for what?  
For a mere heartbreak.

The rain outside overpowered my thoughts,  
pulling me back into reality.  
I looked over at Vincent, and then back out at the window.  
I wasn't sure where we stood,  
but there was a vague familiar feeling that it gave me.  
Vincent's eyes were glistening—I had never seen him cry before.  
As he sat down in front of me,  
I became immune to my sadness.  
Like, it was no big deal, and it wasn't,  
I guess.

"Vincent, I didn't mean to," I could feel myself half whispering in his ear.  
Funny thing is,  
I didn't even know if I should have been the one apologizing this time.  
I put my head on my hands,  
waiting for him to put his arms around me,  
like he always did.  
To tell me that everything was okay,  
because it would be.  
But, he didn't budge.

"You never mean to do anything," he slumped back into his chair,  
lines etched onto his porcelain skin.  
We sat there in silence, but I was thinking of something to say. Anything.  
"Yuffie, I care about you,"_ But, you can't do it._ "But, I don't think I will be able to do what you ask of me."  
_I already knew._ Friendship was already straddling the lines for Vincent,  
and what I asked, was more.  
"Yeah," I had a hard time trying not to break down.  
"I do not know how else to tell it."  
"What do you want me to say? That I saw this coming? That it's my entire fault? That I'm sorry?" I could feel myself burning up.  
Anger boiling up inside me like lava,  
overflowing, with boundless supply.  
"It is not your fault. I do not know," he remained speechless,  
an unbearable silence.  
But his eyes told me otherwise.

By this time,  
I was one with the rain and the rain was with me.  
We danced together gracefully,  
and there was no one but us.  
It calmed me down a little, knowing I wasn't the only one crying that night.  
I lifted my head off my hands.  
There was something about him.  
The way he spoke, he could make you believe anything.  
He knew it too.  
A feeling of betrayal struck me out of nowhere.  
I didn't know where it came from,  
but suddenly it was all I felt.  
How could he leave me like this? Why do I always mess up?  
Why couldn't he just tell me that he was joking and that he found a sense of humor so I could stop feeling like all I do is fail?  
He looked across at me; his eyes shimmered under the light.  
I wanted to reach out for his hand, to show that I would always care, but I just couldn't.  
My arms were glued to my sides.  
And I'm stuck feeling like a child again.  
Maybe if I had done something, it would have changed everything.

"You'd better get home," he spoke with such a stern voice that for a second,  
I'd forgotten who he was.  
He waited for me to say something,  
but I wasn't focused enough to get my words together.  
I walked away from him,  
and pressed my cheek to the glass.  
My breath was hitting the window,  
and then dissipating. In and out, in and out,  
watching my breath was the only thing that reassured me of my existence.  
My heart sank to the floor.  
I pulled myself together and took one last glance at what I used to call love.  
I walked to him, finding false strength I stretched my arm,  
and stroked his cheek while looking straight into his eyes.  
"I don't feel a thing," as the words left my lips, they scared even me.  
I walked out of his house,  
and closed the door tightly.  
As if everything wasn't cliché enough,  
I put my arms out and looked up into the sky.  
The rain welcomed me home.

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**_So this is an old story of mine that I decided to polish and publish. Reviews, criticisms, random thoughts would be much appreciated! Thanks in advance =w=_**


	2. Tonight It Was Different, It Was Better

**Author's Note: **Early update! Just to keep the ball rolling, and I am much too excited to keep this chapter to myself.  
Everyone nod their heads to my friend Lizz-sama who has been my beta, making sure that I didn't make stupid mistakes. So thanks, Lizz. You are certainly the other pea, in my pod.

And thank you for the reviews, and follows, and for actually taking time to read my fic!

Now, since my rantings are done, enjoy the early update, and remember that the next chapter will be up in a week's time. (Unless I get excited again.)**  
**

* * *

**But Tonight It Was Different, It Was Better**

The door was cool against my back,  
and I wiped the last few tears from my cheek and  
held myself closely.  
I was my own best friend right then,  
and it was too late to worry about emotions anyway.  
I was too tired to even think straight,  
and in the morning this would all seem like a dream,  
or a nightmare.  
_Yes. More like a nightmare. _

I inched my way up the staircase.  
Tifa and everyone else were already sleeping.  
Thank Leviathan because I wasn't up for explaining why  
my face was all kinds of red, and wrong, and  
I was so exhausted.  
I opened the door to my room, kicked off my shoes and  
got in bed as quickly as my body would allow.  
It was so quiet. The darkness of my room calmed me more than it ever had before.  
I wasn't sure why and I wasn't sure how.  
Usually, I hated the dark.  
But that night it was different. It was better.

I liked to think that after all the years of crying because of the darkness,  
that I had made peace with it.  
I used to cry because I'd see things in the dark.  
That night, it was what I wanted most.  
I strained my eyes a bit looking for pixels in the shadows.  
For a moment I convinced myself they were the most beautiful sight I had ever seen.  
And maybe they were.

I wasn't sure how I felt.  
I was too disoriented to figure out what had really happened and why.  
It wasn't worth it to me.  
Not many things were.  
It was because I couldn't change a thing, I guess.

My skin was hot but inside  
I was freezing and I couldn't help  
my wanting to scream.  
But just thinking about all the energy it would take,  
made me tired.  
So I took a deep breath instead and closed my eyes.

I let myself remember all of the things I loved.  
It wasn't easy.  
Not that I could have assumed it would be.  
But for a moment I missed Vinnie. I did.  
I really wasn't sure why.  
Nothing had been good recently.  
But in the beginning we were in it together.  
Everything seemed perfect and I never thought it would end. It was what I had always wanted.

By the end,  
he was still floating and I was falling.  
There was nothing left for me to hold onto.  
Maybe he knew, and didn't want to let me go.  
I'd let him pull away from me.  
I didn't know why.  
I wished I hadn't.  
You could say that I asked for my own unhappiness;  
that there was no use in feeling sorry for myself,  
because it was my fault anyway, and you would be right.  
But I couldn't regret the things I'd done,  
because at one point they were exactly what I wanted.  
It's the truth.  
Every action we take, we want in that very moment in time.  
We do what is best for ourselves.

I felt stable;  
more than in the last month or so.  
All that had kept me close to him was fear.  
Not fear of being alone, but…  
fear of losing what meant more to me that I knew.  
He was gone, and it wasn't scary after all.  
I faded in and out of sleep,  
and I wasn't sure when I was dreaming or reminiscing.  
I listened to my own heart and noticed the precision in my breath.  
The human body really was a wonderful song.  
A song, that isn't stuck on repeat because it is so greatly appreciated.

Listening is one of the greatest things in the world.  
Being the great ninja that I am,  
I catch bits and pieces of conversations,  
and so many people count on childhood "friends" to hear them out,  
because no one else will.  
I mean, not to preach to you or anything,  
but there are one hundred billion people in the world and,  
out of those billions of people, not many aren't self-centered.  
Maybe I'm crazy,  
but I love listening to people and the way they're feeling when I'm rock bottom.  
It helps me feel like I'm okay.  
Like, I won't ever be alone,  
because somewhere out there,  
there's always someone who's going through the same exact thing.  
To be able to relate to each other is a gift,  
and we shouldn't push it away.  
We're born alone, we die alone.  
While we're alive, we might as well relate.  
Life is funny that way.

I was tired of the silence.  
I pulled the sheets up to my chest,  
and felt my breaths get shallower.  
Sleep was taking me away.  
Before I let him take me,  
I thought of the last place where I felt at peace.  
I remember her beautiful face,  
and her smile.  
Hoping she could protect me from nightmares that night.  
But I knew before I went down that she would.  
Because tonight was different, it was better.

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**Reviews, criticisms, and random thoughts are always welcome! _  
_**


	3. Even If It Was Only For The Night

**Author's Note:** Well, I can't believe it's already been a week, but here's a new chapter! I know some people are probably going to kill me cause I haven't fully revealed what happened between the two, but I promise you will find out next chapter!

Thanks again for my lovely Lizz-sama, who has been wonderful and super helpful, and of course my readers, and reviewers, and yeah c:

Well, onwards we go!

* * *

**Even If It Was Only For The Night**

"Yuffie." her voice was soft and as it gently sang to me,  
I began to cry.  
Soon it was unstoppable as I felt my mother's arms wrap around me.  
"Yuffie, are you okay?"

"..I..," I wiped my eyes on the back of my hand.  
"I think so mom,"  
trying to get the thoughts together, was hard.  
But vocalizing them and getting them out was harder.  
"I'll be alright."

Just hearing my mother breathe was comforting.  
The smell of her, even more.  
I couldn't think of anything else I wanted more than  
just to sit there in the middle of nowhere with her.  
We used to go outside in the garden,  
and sit there for hours.  
Just being together, and laughing.  
Me, suddenly forgetting what room my lecture was in,  
and her never mentioning the fact that I had lectures in the first place.  
Those were the most precious memories I held.  
She was the most precious person,  
in my life.  
It was only right that someone had to take her away,  
because I don't deserve someone as great.

"I'm here for you Yuffie,"  
her sincerity was more than I could process.  
I tried to tell her how much I miss her.  
And how much I wanted her back with me,  
but all I could talk about was myself.

"It's over mom. Everything.  
I don't know what's wrong with me. I just don't know,"  
I took a deep breath and tried to calm myself down a little.  
It wasn't easy and my lungs felt like collapsing.  
I stared up at the sky and I knew I was safe.  
No matter what happened that night,  
I was safe in my dreams,  
and with my mother,  
even if it was only for the night.

"Yuffie, don't do this to yourself,"  
she sounded so desperate and out of breath  
as if she'd gone through the same thing.

"Mom, you don't understand.  
It's my fault. It is. It doesn't matter how you see it.  
I do this to myself, time and time again,"  
my sentences were so poorly put together,  
made of the broken words of a broken one.  
They cut through my lips and made me feel weak.

If there is one thing in the world that I cannot stand,  
it is to feel impotent.  
I am a human with approximately 206 bones and over 10 trillion cells.  
I'm pretty much the same as you  
give or take a few inches, motives, and genes.  
And so I'm always thinking to myself,  
how could you let this get you down?  
Because if you are so much like everyone else,  
why aren't you stronger than this?  
I think the part about that, that disappoints me the most,  
is that I can't answer the questions.  
I don't even know.

My mother was fading faster than what I had with Vincent.  
Although, I know she would've stayed if I really wanted her to.  
I could hear her breathe and it kept me steady  
but it wasn't enough of a reason to keep on hiding from reality.  
It wasn't enough of a reason,  
to keep my mother feeling sorry for me.

"Yuffie, take a deep breath. I'll do it with you,"  
childish as it seems, she used to always tell me to.  
She knew how much it helped me calm down.  
She also knew that I could never do it alone.  
She knew a lot about me.

"Okay. Yeah, alright,"  
I filled my lungs as much as I could.  
As I released air, I pictured everything bad escaping.  
I tried to release my thoughts of Vincent and the words said.  
It made me fall apart.  
I was exasperated and overwhelmed with everything.  
My thoughts spun around me faster than I could see.  
I closed my eyes and took another breath.

"Now tell me… what's wrong?"  
I opened my eyes slowly,  
but left my gaze on the floor.  
The words I could say wouldn't ever be enough,  
and I wrapped my arms around me  
to help brace myself for the oncoming impact.

"How could you save someone,  
if you don't even know if you have the strength to?  
How could you save someone,  
who doesn't want your saving?"  
My breath hitched in my throat,  
and one word after another flew with more conviction than the last.  
"How can I leave him behind,  
when my life without him is such a blur?"  
My body rocked with sobs, and the more I tried to breathe,  
the less oxygen made its way to my lungs.

With warm arms my mother took me in,  
and held me until my body stilled.  
My mother asked me sweetly,  
to just close my eyes.  
To try and hear each word she spoke.  
"Sweetheart, realize that you aren't the mistakes you've made—  
and I'm not saying what you did was one.  
I've taught you to open yourself up,  
when you were unwilling,  
and Vincent is the same as you then,  
so teach him.  
Show him just how bright he shines,  
and continue to love him, until he sees for himself."

I took in the words my mother said and  
my chest filled with doubt.  
I had never felt weaker,  
and I refused to admit defeat.  
But once you've fallen,  
it's hard to stand back up.  
Putting myself back together again,  
I pushed forward a brave face that could fool even the gods themselves.

"I love you mom. Thank you so much."

"I love you too, my rose. Goodnight, my sweet. I will see you again soon."

I closed my eyes and when I opened them,  
I was in my room again.  
I turned on my stomach,  
and smothered my face in the mattress.  
There was nothing else around me.  
Everyone was gone.  
Gone…  
I started to feel sick.  
I curled up into a ball and pulled the sheets around me.  
I closed my eyes again in the hope that all this would go away,  
even if it was only for the night.

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**And as always, feedback would be wonderful!**


	4. Vincent Valentine Knew Everything

**Author's Note: **Well, the chapter that reveals everything is here! FINALLY! I was gonna make you guys wait until the sixth chapter to find out, but I decided to just create a slightly longer chapter and mashed everything together.  
So the nine chapters I had previously shrunk into six, haha.  
So I'll have tons of writing ahead of me! That I will hopefully get to after I get home from visiting my partner, and before I go off to California.  
Oh god, I'm talking way too much.

MOVING ON. Thank you bunches once again. Your continuous support has got me smiling bigger everyday, haha.

And of course, Lizz-sama, you're always great.

* * *

**Vincent Valentine Knew Everything**

The morning came slower than I had hoped as I laid awake in bed forever.  
I focused my eyes on the clock.  
It read 10:36.  
I had planned to be up and ready by 10:30,  
but I was always too late.  
Of course, I had adapted to this feeling of lateness,  
and learned to live with it.  
I repositioned myself,  
attempting to comfort all these feelings of discomfort in my chest.  
The attempt was a failure.  
I made my way to the bathroom,  
and I looked at myself in the mirror,  
with my eyes still red and cheeks still puffy;  
I was just as disgusting anytime of day, but it seemed to bother me most now.

A rush of warmth filled my cheeks and I wanted to scream.  
But instead I let out a yawn and turned away from the mirror.  
I rinsed off my cheeks with cool water,  
turned on the shower and took off my clothes.  
I preferred to let the mirror fog up before I took them off.  
I would do anything to avoid seeing myself,  
especially all of me.  
There was this terrible feeling  
it gave me and my appearance mattered more to me than it should have.

There seemed to be no one that could make me feel beautiful.  
But that was my loss; my loss and my error.  
I should've realized that I was the only one who could make me happy,  
only I couldn't because I was too shallow and naïve to see it.  
It's sad. It really is.  
I love the world so much—everything has beauty.  
You've just got to look for it.  
It isn't real if you don't have to find it.  
Of course, there is always the obvious.  
A body filled with sleek curves and beautiful features.  
Is it truly beautiful? Or is it just a perception?  
I won't get technical on you.  
All I'm trying to say is that…  
we are filled with thoughts of a stereotypical beauty.  
Well what about the rest of us?  
Are we not beautiful?  
I think we are. Now I do, anyway.

I got out of the shower.  
Much like the mirror, my mind was still foggy.  
It was twisted with images of last night.  
Visions of my future without the one I loved.  
There was still something inside me though,  
telling me to forget it and continue with my life.  
But my heart wanted me to go to where he was,  
and fix everything.

Not sure what to do with myself,  
I threw on anything I could find and left the house.  
I was walking faster than ever and with no destination.  
Or maybe, I knew where I was going all along.  
When I reached his front door,  
I hesitated.  
I had no idea how I'd gotten there.  
And with a frightful knock on the door,  
a few seconds passed me by… and there he was;  
comforting as ever and seemingly expecting me.

Vincent had gotten an apartment in Edge  
the moment he and I started getting closer.  
He didn't want to travel all the time, and of course,  
I have a relationship of mutual dislike with boats and airships.

"What are you doing here?" he asked.  
His hair was a mess,  
and he looked like he hadn't gotten any sleep whatsoever.  
The usual glint in his eyes was dull and lifeless.  
I had spent so much of my time shining those eyes,  
and with one night, all of my work vanished from him.

"Vinnie.. I..." I couldn't seem to get the words out.  
Why couldn't I just run away? My feet were glued to the ground, that's why.  
"I.. I'm sorry."

He stepped aside from the door,  
and let me in. As I walked in,  
I saw the living room was the same as I had left it.  
The movie we had rented kept replaying over and over on the screen.  
Popcorn and soda and chips littered the table and the floors.  
Blankets were scattered everywhere,  
and I was taken back to last night.

_The room was extremely dark as I huddled against Vincent against his will.  
Tons of blankets covered me,  
as I peeked through his ratty cape that I found comfort in.  
I always seemed to get scared by the movies we watch every Friday,  
well because,  
Vincent always picked them.  
If it were up to me, we'd be watching Wutain movies,  
with ninjas and princesses.  
Something he doesn't like very much._

_I stared at the TV as the monster killed everything in its path.  
Sinking further back into the couch as if any second now,  
the monster was going to pop out of the screen and come after me next._

_I glanced at Vince and saw that even though it was dark,  
his eyes were still visible and that they glowed.  
I'd never noticed that before,  
but I guess you learn new things every day. _

_Vincent Valentine is gorgeous.  
His pale complexion and dark hair complemented each other,  
and you can't deny the fact that even though he's a moody vampire,  
he's still extremely hot that way. _

_"Something I can help you with Yuffie?"  
His smooth voice snapped me back to reality,  
and all the blood rushed to my face as I turned my attention back to the movie.  
I felt him shudder trying to hold back the laughter._

_"Shut up Vincent. I was just… looking at how… uhm… at… uhhhh… shit!"  
I could never win with Vince. I get nervous and…  
I can't think of words, and when I do they don't come out right._

_"It's alright Yuffie, don't hurt yourself trying to think,"  
I heard the sarcasm in his voice, and I jumped up and pointed my finger at him._

_"VINNIE! YOU MADE A JOKE!  
ONLY IT'S NOT THAT FUNNY! BUT IT WAS A NICE TRY!"  
I couldn't help but jump around his living room,  
celebrating the fact that I'd slightly,  
just SLIGHTLY rubbed off on him. _

_"…"_

_"Awh, come on. Don't start that again broody! Smile!"  
I bent down to his level, and poked my fingers at the corners of his mouth,  
tugging at them, trying to form a smile.  
It didn't work very well.  
His lips were so perfect, and his nose,  
and his eyes and his whole freaking face!  
I stared at his lips,  
moving up and up until finally my gray orbs met his;  
so much trouble, and torture, and sincerity and…  
what was that soft feeling I could see in his eyes?  
We stared at each other for a long time,  
as screams were heard from the movie.  
I could feel myself getting closer and closer to him by the minute,  
and my heart was pounding in my chest—right then I think I was more nervous  
and scared than the actors from the stupid movie,  
but I couldn't stop myself. _

_My face was as red as his beautiful eyes and I closed mine,  
and felt my lips press against his.  
In that moment, everything came together,  
and I felt at peace and perfect.  
Just, perfect. _

_But everything crashed down as he pulled himself from me,  
and walked away.  
I stared at the floor, and felt his eyes on me.  
I couldn't take this, I had to tell him. _

_"Vincent… I like you. I LOVE you.  
I thought you knew this, I mean… isn't it pretty obvious?  
I've liked you since I could remember.  
And I can't fucking stop! Believe me, I've tried.  
But I just can't! You've made your mark in my heart,  
and I can't just cut it off you know…"  
I looked at him, and I could see the blankness in his eyes.  
There was nothing there anymore.  
Panic washed over me once again,  
and it rained down on me that I'd made a big mistake.  
This couldn't be happening.  
_

_Vincent Valentine was gone,  
and he took Yuffie Kisaragi with him._

The daylight fell to darkness in the room and  
I could feel myself aching again.  
One day.  
Only one day had passed and it seemed like a lifetime ago.  
The pain was still too much to bear.

"I think I should get going,"  
I said, suddenly stopping in my tracks and backing away,  
tail between my legs.  
Vinnie seemed confused by my sudden urge to leave,  
but responded anyway,  
"Alright. Are you going to be... okay Yuffie?"

It took me longer than it probably should have to answer this question.  
I looked at him, I looked through him.  
And then I looked into his garnet eyes.  
They seemed different,  
as if they were saying something.  
But what they were saying,  
I couldn't decipher.  
"I'll have to be," and with that foolish answer I took my leave.  
He closed the door behind me and that was it.  
Our moment was gone—but not forever.  
We would have another one,  
if we were meant to, in time.  
He knew I was going to be at his house,  
he wanted me to be.  
After all,  
Vincent Valentine knew everything.

* * *

Nooooo. How can I do this to you guys?! I'm such a cruel person! HOW CAN I NOT LET THEM HAVE THEIR MOMENT?! Fret not, little ones. THERE ARE MANY CHAPTERS AHEAD. Well, not many. But enough.  
**Reviews and criticisms are always welcome. FEED MY BOX. **Welp, that sounded kind of wrong.


	5. I've Created Disaster

**Author's Note: **As promised, an update. But starting next week, the updates will be less frequent as I've gotten busy, and less motivated to write the last week. It will be updated as much as I can though, so sorry for the future inconveniences.

Thank you again for supporting this story of mine, and I appreciate everything everyone's given me so far.

**ONWARDS WE GO.**

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**I've Created Disaster  
Vincent's POV**

A wise man once told me,  
'You don't choose to fall in love, you just do,' and  
to my greatest misfortune,  
I have found him to be quite accurate.  
But that does not stop me from wishing for him to perish slowly and  
painfully in Ifrit's fire.

I stood in there for what seemed like hours,  
drowning in my own self-loathing as hesitant knocks sounded again and  
pulled me away from my thoughts.  
My brows furrowed, and I trudged my way slowly to unlatch the front door,  
only to once again reveal the small kunoichi.

My curiosity peaked and I stepped aside,  
inviting her into my not quite hospitable room.  
Clouded by consciousness, no words were spoken and the vast calm nearly suffocated me.  
Yuffie's eyes looked straight into me,  
their grey hue bleeding into my soul, and I struggled to keep eye contact.

"What would you do if I left?"  
Her bottom lip trembled,  
and I couldn't fake the fact that I had been taken back by the sudden question.  
The silence between us was morbid and dank as  
I raked my mind for a suitable response but came up with none.

"I don't know. I really don't,"  
I could tell that my reply was not what she wanted to hear as  
I watched her eyes fall to the floor,  
and I cringed as she dug her boot into the carpet  
in a figure-eight-esque shape. As if to say infinite;  
this feeling of guilt can be infinite.

"My mother told me to not give up on you, you know,"  
she sat down on the sofa, her body stiff and uncomfortable.  
"I had no intention of listening, and I still don't,  
but a part of me is hoping that… maybe there is still a chance.  
That maybe, if I keep fighting for you, if I keep showing you how much I care…  
maybe, just maybe… you'll come around,"  
she continued in such a quiet voice,  
that if the place had not been in a complete standstill,  
even I would have had a problem understanding her words.

I made the same mistakes,  
in hopes of pushing away the aches and the pain of the past.  
Words had been struggling amongst themselves within my mind,  
and I began to question whether my decisions have been dignified.  
Contrary to popular belief, there is nothing in this world  
I wanted to do more than wrap my stone cold arms  
around the young woman, to let her warmth penetrate my walls,  
and let her imprint her soul into my own. And it hurts.  
It breaks me apart.  
Because what I want to say is not being said,  
and is replaced by words and sentences formulated by  
my fears,  
my past,  
and  
my sick journey to repent for my sins.

My chest held steady, and I unplugged every emotion.  
Kiss gracefulness goodbye, because I gave up before I even tried.  
"There is nothing for us, Yuffie. There is no future for us,"  
I had not said much, but it left me feeling drained and numb.  
I let my eyes trace over the ninja once more,  
memorizing the sudden increase of her breath, and the tint of her cheek,  
matching my own crimson orbs. She sat dejected;  
shoulders slouched and tears shamelessly flowing down her smooth cheeks.

"You're full of shit, Valentine," in a matter of seconds,  
her sorrow turned into rage, and she stalked towards me,  
words as her weapon, but only second to her little fists of iron.  
"You know I'd wait for you, no matter how long it might fucking take.  
You know I'd sit and mope and cry,  
even though I'll continuously tell everyone else that  
I'm okay and better off without you,  
because we both know that I won't be!"  
her fists pounded onto my chest, and though my body could take much of the pain,  
I couldn't help but wince.  
"You fill me up with your lies, telling me to just let it go,  
but in doing so, it makes it harder for me to forget,  
and I'll just hold on tighter," her breath was getting heavy,  
and her tears were falling faster and she let her hands  
cease their movements only to latch onto my shirt tightly.

Oh how the gods are testing my resolve to  
stop this damsel from getting mixed into my turmoil,  
to let her run as fast as she could when she still had the chance.  
Empty I am,  
and she could fill my void, if only I'd let her,  
and we could live happily every after.  
But who am I to believe that.  
This is life and no one ever comes to see such a fortunate turn of events.  
My steel heart still shines through.

"You deserve someone better than me.  
Someone complete.  
Someone without a past that will haunt both of you in the end.  
This is my final decision," and that's the end.  
Her fists clenched onto my shirt tighter for a moment,  
before she released it altogether and backed away.

"You are a fool, Vincent Valentine.  
A fool and a coward, who would rather  
wallow in self-pity than let himself move on and be happy.  
And I will be a fool right along side you,  
because I will wait,  
and trust that the Vincent I've gotten to know over the past  
four years is somewhere in there.  
The Vincent I joked around with,  
the Vincent I traveled with,  
the Vincent who let me in and let me stay without worrying about his past.  
We almost made it, Valentine.  
We were close but you… you are such a damn coward,"  
she spat the last few words, and I swear if looks could kill,  
I'd have keeled over on the spot and swallowed my last breath.

She left without another word,  
and I let my mask shatter.  
The apartment felt empty, my world felt empty.  
The monster had lost his lady, and no one gave a damn,  
because it was his own doing.  
I wiped my tears off my cheeks before I even realized I'd been crying,  
and it dawned on me.  
I've created disaster.


End file.
